For quite some time I was suffering in my feelings of love for a girl. I couldn't bring myself to truly get closer to her even though she was only at my fingertips most of the time as it seemed to other people. And yet I didn't feel it was ever that simple. Something made me think that there was something beneath the surface that I did not dare scratch at to learn.
I blamed myself, cast judgement on myself and even kept my heart locked up from being accessed by anyone else. Yet I was never satisfied with my decisions, even when I tried to get closer. There were red flags I saw but I didn't look at them for what they truly are.
I don't think it is possible to find a perfect match in this world of imperfection. Does it mean that there isn't anything good in this world? I don't think so. I think God works wonders for us in his name, we just have to respect our creator and follow his command. It is a matter of understanding our place, so that we never overstep our boundry as is our design.
Lately I keeo wondering if it possible for me to understand that I can't strive for a perfect relationship? I understand that I am better off obtaining a relationship that I can grow from, one that allows me to start with conditions that make for a lasting relationship versus a 'perfect' relationship.
I know that finding a good foundation is more important than anything else, which is why I easily delude myself into thinking that I can find a perfect match.
