Dual Reality has Plausible Deniability

Who can claim they've never been in a relationship where something didn't seem right? This applies to all relationships; please feel free to include an acquaintance, business, and neighbors. Anyone, even a stranger on the street. So long as we're not including all relationships not bound by the complications of human psychological factors like the differences seen between a person and their pet versus a person and their spouse. Though despite the ludicrous behavior of people to take spousal relations to their pets, I have nothing to contribute in such arenas in this entry.

I'm focusing on human relationships, primarily the interdependency developed through the many details involved in relationships. I bare mind to the reality of gender differences and how little it can mean in psychology yet conversely make every little difference in distinctions.

(started 11/18/2015)

Alas, another draft from years ago

    Here I am in the night, in my apartment by my lonesome listening to the Alex Jones show and reviewing Youtube videos about how to edit graphics. I've spent the last four hours sleeping off confusion and apathy. My dreams were fairly calm, considering their erratic nature all throughout most nights. I've found myself contemplating the things I'm hearing from a supposed conspiracy-theorist.

        Though my main thought about Alex is that so many people have tried to disprove him and yet, just like his slogan "Tomorrow's News, Today", the truth vindicates Alex even if years after everyone's forgotten everything. Even now he's making many claims that just keep coming to light just as he said or even predicted. So far the only thing he's been utterly wrong about in the last four years is just how bad CoronaV. would be--he was along with the media sounding the alarm claiming millions would be gone by now (as of now the worldwide total isn't the plural form of million).

I guess I could go on and on about the election and who is saying what.. But that's not what I'm thinking about right now even though the talk of it is everywhere. It is important to me, but it isn't the thing that determines the quality of my day; however, there is something that did. 

    Not sure what this stuff means at this point and I don't know what else to think. So I'm just gonna spit it out since I was on my way here to jot some things down and happened to stumble upon a draft that speaks to what I want to say. Weird.. maybe that's what the hiatus here was all about. The time just wasn't right. Besides... The words I was using were big. I'm not even sure I recognize myself. 

Desperate for Details

    There's a war for information going on. 

    It's not a new war, but some people are only recognizing it because of circumstance. 

Given the state of affairs worldwide, it's a surprise that most people don't recognize that there's some upheaval going on. It's not just the obvious things on the surface either, most of what is important is happening behind closed doors in a type of secrecy that should alarm a sane mind. 

These are things that cross the line of moral depravity and into sadist behaviors. This is not arguing the gray areas of near-neutral consequences. This is not the debate of personal bias or speculation on opinion. If these things are not obviously apprehensible then there's no need to continue to assume there's any middle ground to be reasonable on. 

    This is what leads us to a need to rethink this position of "healing" that many claim to want but so many are guilty of preventing. I for one have taken quite a silent approach to many things in the public square of opinion. Namely, I've refused to let my opinions about events or things in general become a status update for Social media platforms. I did this before the threat of censorship was a thing because of my personal belief that what I say isn't necessarily helpful to the conscience of others. 
If it weren't for my desire to help people on a deeper, spiritual level, I wouldn't think twice about my words. Only about the consequences I can discern. 

  Hate Governs the Zeitgeist

    There's no escaping the fact that hate floats in the air these days. It wasn't unapparent before, but these days it's out there in the open like it is a trendy thing to do. The difference of now versus what I remember is beyond people being fed up or events accelerating emotions towards the negative. Yet there's many reasons to be upset about things that are happening; that is, if you know more than what the superficial media giants reveal. 
Or...
You could be more like myself and think we're being suppressed. We, being average people. 

    I've warned of certain aspects of ideological adherence. Because I was warned. 

Watching certain ideologies come to fruition in society has been an interesting thing, but mostly it is condemning of these thought forms. Not to my surprise, as I was told from a young age that there are certain things about this world, this Country, my faith, and my family.. That no person can come to me and convince me is not what I've known it as. 

    This is beyond me being fed up with the negativity. This has so much more to do with the patterns of behavior I've known to be a thing but am dismayed to see it further normalized. 
I'm coming to know it simply as... It's ok if they do it, but never when I do. 

Something must give..

    It would be far removed from me to not seek a solution to what I'm pointing out. Even though the solutions I seek may be vain exercises in arrogance. There's not a whole lot that can go wrong at this point if you're just making mistakes while trying to do the right thing. The proverbial water well of the mind of the public square has had a dead body thrown into it.. And the people who did it are falsely accusing the people in the middle of the square trying to maintain civil discourse. 

I'm making more of an attempt to break through this creative conundrum I've run into. It is all based on my 'fear' that my art is too telling of what could be coming and serves as a type of metaphorical analysis of the real world. It isn't that this supposed ability (foresight based on experience) is something unique to me as much as it is something I never have been able to ignore. 
Where some people will say I wear my emotions on my sleeve, I'll demand that it is my inability to fake my reactions (unless you piss me off.. Then the evil side comes out and I can manipulate myself and others). I imagine that is pretty much a thing when you are a human; part of the human experience is our reactions to the world and each other, which is why etiquette is a thing. 

    My first effort is removing the entertainment seeking within normal activities. Video Gaming has been the first thing to take a very unexpected turn. I'm largely motivated by the connections that I find with people through a seemingly mindless property to life. 
To break through I started looking at things differently; namely, my own addictions that I had been taught to think of a certain way because of the former zeitgeist of my teenage and early childhood years. It was then that family, friends, and strangers set the precedent for how I viewed myself within the construct of possibilities in the consumer market. Of course as a youngster there was something much more magical about the consumer market than now. Perhaps most of the mystique was lost as I realized that corporations aren't trying to make much of a difference in the sophisticated and expertly professional mannerism that they present themselves as. 

    It is through this attempt that I can remain true to my personality while still seeking to grow in maturity. It is through this exercise that I've realized that certain people, possibly just a personality type like myself, are highly receptive to certain behaviors.. Certain things that get us excited just like everyone else who has their own 'special' things they cherish. 
This is for the forgotten people who are counted as average, treated as strange, misunderstood regardless of intent, and who find themselves on the outside even when they're in. 

This is why I must be a net to catch people who are falling through the cracks.
                If you know what I'm talking about.. This is for you. Hear this...
I already had an idea of the dark side of corporations and the industrial face of the world.. But I figured the demonic possessed side of all this wouldn't come out exponentially like I'm seeing now. It was this 'zone' of human life that had me convinced my art would be used for evil. 

        And of course.. There's plenty of people who just don't see it my way at all. 

            That's fine, but they should answer this: Why are things getting worse for the whole world?

Note to Self?

There was something that I wanted to say when I was ready to say it, but the time came and I found nothing coming out but a silly giggle and the surprise of what I may say next. Wait.. What is the surprise? How many times must I do the same thing over and over until I get the hint? I figured that I would be a mush of emotions whenever I came across something that entices my senses, but I had no idea what kind of depth it could reach. There is a point, look past the riddle.

In my lifetime I have done quite a few different things. Good things, bad things, neutral things, weird things, unorthodox things, traditional things, personal things.. You name it, I will prove to you that the one thing I didn’t do is live under a rock. However, there is one thing I never really got into. That may be as easy as saying I am not a nympho. I can’t play the role even if my life depends on it. Yet, why?

I am quite the romance artist, if I want to be. Don’t give me a reason, don’t expect much out of me because I do it unexpectedly for a reason. Perhaps it seems I do well with surprising people just as much as receiving a surprise? What most people don’t see is that it’s superficial when I play on these attributes. My character trait has a whole lot more to do with my empathic prowess than anything else. I wont go so far as to claim that I’m some kind of genius, but you’ll have to argue against testing first.

I refuse to let anyone tell me that I don’t have a niche. The one unexplainable attribute of my personal existence is something I can’t share with anyone because my words can’t fully articulate a feeling; especially a feeling that surges through the body and does different things at different times for different reasons. I’d be better off trying to share the feeling by inciting it in others and it turns out that this is a very dangerous ‘game’. I generally look at this quality as simple intellectual manipulation, but I’ve had to learn the hard way that the more I speak from the heart the less the medium itself dictates influence. The secondary implication, yes there is one, is that I can choose a communication medium that fits a criteria of what kind of emotions of mine are allowed to be perceived by the listener. 

Perhaps I am just crazy? You might say.. That is, until you realize I can scale walls.

I like metaphors for this reason. I speak in riddles a lot when giving advice and I don’t generalize or over exaggerate examples just to illustrate a concept. I can be subtle, but I prefer to not point out the whole answer to a question. The reason is so I incite deeper thought that is self-evoked; it sounds contradictory even though it’s knowing when to stop that gets something else going, which may be more of a matter of consciously controlling synergy.

Haughty and prideful these words I’m speaking start to become. I have to clarify my entire point by pointing out the lack of pointed tips to my concept. This is not a matter of controlling anyone, though I am suggesting there’s a dark side that is akin to manipulation. I see the ability to influence people as a universal thing for humans. We are like unplanted garden beds when it comes to being ready for the influences of this universe. Just what in the world are we individuals willing to grow?

If I have anything to say about what I can do to someone’s emotions, it’s offend. Somehow I can sabotage a relationship faster than America does Diplomacy in the middle east. I can act well too, but I have a bad habit of not wanting to pretend to be something I’m not. Even if it is showing how uncomfortable I am in the presence of certain others. Somewhere deep inside me is the desire to behave in a manner that is peaceful and compassionate. I am susceptible to failure just like any other human, but I am not like every other human when it comes to my response to a mistake. I suffer a double effect no matter how I align my behavior; I am convinced the double effect is a curse to reveal a gift. I know the curse, but what is the gift? If there is no gift, why am I growing despite being cursed?

To take the focus away from myself.. There seems to be a major paradigm shift in the world-culture stage since 2010. I noticed it in myself, but I didn’t think it was going to turn into what it has now. No amount of ‘things’ I could have seen, read, or heard could convince me of what I know now to be true. Funny thing is that my Faith in God is the only thing consistent, also the reason why I accepted certain notions that I once rejected. The impossible becoming an experience is profound for anyone, yet not everyone embraces it and for good reason. Just because something is real doesn’t mean it’s good for you, just like you shouldn’t follow your heart just because of how you feel. The wisest choice is to clear your mind of assumptions.. Open your heart to possibilities.. And purify your Soul with virtue. Only then will you be guided by Truth. Moreover, despite the disagreement of a personal savior, this is the same process that opens a person to Jesus. Refusing the ego, challenging the heart, standing for justice.

I’m not going to give a religious rant, that wasn’t the point. It is my belief that many people don’t understand spiritual concepts simply because they are suffering dissonance. To the laymen, it’s just another word. To those who understand, it’s the reason why you cover your ears and wont let an explanation reach your thoughts. If anything, there’s more of a concern of being ‘polluted’ than how much malice is involved. Not sure what happened to the flight or fight response in humans being more ‘evolved’ than other animals, but clearly evolution is a farce if humans should think their technological sophistication balances their sheep-like behavior. Yes, if you feel I’m calling humanity a big herd of stupid sheep, you assume right. Though I don’t have negative feelings about humanity outside of our obvious depravity, I feel some people are in denial of how humanity behaves inferior to what it is capable of on an individual note. The contrast is stark, just watch the news and you feel this weird disconnection that may even justify repaying evil with evil. Yet this is common place..? Oh.. Heavens yes it is. And there’s a strange connection to the influence of the world and what I originally was stating about my empathic abilities.

Think of it this way.. There are people out there who are intelligent enough to have formulated a process of control that infiltrates every system in humanity. Everything from language to computers is infiltrated and it’s not because there’s some diabolical force making sure this happened.. It’s a natural part of humanity, the only thing that matters is how it’s used.

So the next time you feel that fiery temper flare up or that sinking feeling heavy in your stomach, remember to try to ignore what you’re feeling and pay attention to evidence. Don’t fit the evidence to the feeling, fit the evidence to acts and the feelings to a demeanor. You feel what others feel, but to what degree is up to you. Practice makes perfect, just like some people just have a natural talent.

Halcyon Elysium

 

The title.. What is the essence?

Just stop and listen..

Nature is beautiful. So are you; we are a part of nature and yet we are not limited to it. Now let's go together, and become one with our Source, which is above the Universe and that which defines it.

The Source of all things should be above all things. We can not find life from the inanimate and we can not find light where darkness reigns. The Source is not a phenomenon and it can not be subjugated. Try as we may, the Source can not be subjected to experiment or confinement. It is absolute foolishness to believe that the Source is us and we in turn can become it.

Dreams are shattered because we do not have the power to manifest that which shouldn’t exist. When we claim we have succeeded, we remove ourselves from the awesome gift of volition and the capacity to create. Yet we do not create anything which doesn’t already exist, even if we are able to combine attributes of different things to form something not already constructed by nature.

Does the scientists create their awesome experiments without using what nature has provided since before the dawn of humanity? Can a mother bare children without taking into her, that which is given by nature? When has anyone thought of a concept that no other person could equally devise?

I do not dream of an existence that is apart from what this Universe is capable of. However, I seem to confuse the abilities and attributes of other creatures and elements into my will as though I have the capacity to do create something from nothing.. Is anything possible? I think so, under a very specific pretense. However, it means nothing if Love doesn’t exist, anyways.

Where do we look to satisfy our desires? A deep craving of an infinite magnitude ensnares the individual as the mind grows and the imagination is enriched throughout our short life cycle. What is the depth of the human experience without memories of where we have come from so we understand where we have come to? How then, can we share the joy of our hearts if there is no boundary that explains why one heart becomes hardened to the pleasures of other hearts?

There is a fine line between the pursuit of happiness and experiencing happiness without pursuit. This is the essence of sacrifice and it is by far the greatest explanation to why Evil doesn’t have to exist to experience the deepest aspect of happiness: Joy. I do not mean a lack of capacity, I simply mean a lack of presence. Just like I haven’t always existed, despite the capacity as I obviously am living, there is no reason to conclude that the polarity of Good vs. Evil is a necessity—Our finite understanding of such things leads us into a realm where the truth exists in as many forms as a lie. In fact, we can go so far as to say that every bit of truth has a bit of lies and every lie has a bit of truth. This creates infinite regression, it is simply illogical and emotionally bankrupt.

We’re on a one-way track. Time doesn’t go backwards and maturity/growth/evolution/enlightenment behaves in the same manner. However, society will try to convince you that it’s all “Mind over Matter”. Yeah.. Well I mind, because it matters; that’s all I can say to such things.

Before we forget, we should give more credence to the nature of good and bad memories, holding onto everything that’s good and respecting the lesson taught by the bad. Only then does anyone have a chance of maintaining their reality-altering hope or even imparting it to loved ones.